Getting ready for the Spring time, I planned to get into beekeeping. I started off with an order of a dozen bees but when the guy came to drop them off, I counted 13. He said "aah, it's a free bee."
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Anytime I am driving and I see a bunch of cows I always say: Look a flock of cows! Someone will correct me and say "herd of cows."
I always reply "Of course I've heard of them, there's a flock of them right over there!"
I have a farmer friend who tells me that he's constantly getting positive feedback on his fields. Curious, I asked why - he said it was because his scarecrows are outstanding in the fields
I hired a handyman to do some tasks around the house. When I checked in with him, he only did every other task on my list (Task 1, 3, 5, etc). Turns out, he only does odd jobs...
For 2025, I wanted to start a new hobby of growing a herb garden... but I just couldn't find the thyme to do so.
I decided to visit the local aquarium this past weekend as it seemed like a good time. When I got there, I left early because something seemed fishy about that place...
I bought some velcro Sketchers the other day.... they are a total rip-off!
My friend claims he glued himself to his autobiography. I don't believe him, but... that's his story and he's sticking to it.
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk
I was staying at a hotel on vacation one time and they said they charged extra to use the air conditioning. That was so un-cool of them for that
Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All of the fans left
Looking over a menu at the restaurant, the snowman decided what he really wanted. He was feeling a little.. chili
I was talking with a farmer the other day when his dog escaped from his property. All he had to say was "that dog-gone dog done gone escaped again!"
I tried to stay up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was hiding during the night.... Then it dawned on me
I was kicked out of the coffee club the other day and I am furious... all because I wore a tea-shirt
I have always thought that Justice is a dish best served cold.. If it were served warm, it would be just-water.
I saw a group of turkeys getting off a train. I looked up and saw it was called "The Gravy Train". Guess that is how turkeys travel. (Bad Dad Joke for Thanksgiving)
I can only imagine what it was like when Benjamin Franklin discovered Electricity.. it was most likely Shocking to him
Someone stole my glasses the other day. Whoever you are, I will find you... I have contacts
Every time I take my dog to the park, the ducks will always try to bite him. I guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.. -
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